Sunday Morning Short

“I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish church, by the Roman church, by the Greek church, by the Protestant church, nor by any church that I know of. My own mind is my church.” ~ Thomas Paine

 

Wondering

Nina II

I’ve been gone two nights now. I wonder if the pups think the coyotes got me? I am missing them so much. So I just close my eyes and pet them in my mind. Daisy’s thick fur gives under my palms. I can feel her old lady moles on her head. Buddy rolls over so I can rub his strong belly and then he lays his face in my lap, tilts his head and raises an eybrow. Nina  jumps up next to me and I cup her small face in my hands and wipe the sleep out of her eyes before she bounds off to grab a toy to play fetch with.

For now I have to make due with Nina II – who Sweetie and Ali got for me last week for my one-night stay after my ablation.

PS – In my boredom yesterday, I tweaked the sidebar and added a subscribe button, if you are so inclined.

PPS – In clearing my spam filter this morning, just as I clicked “clear all spam” I saw a small comment right at the top of the filter from “Ashleigh” commenting on And we get? Just as it disappeared into the ether, I saw that it read, something like “Over promise, under deliver.”  I just wanted to acknowledge her comment and invite her to comment again. Spammy is good, but every once in a while he makes a wrong turn and pops real people in there. Just ask Steve Nielson.

 

Diagnosis: First Degree AV Block

Hokay.

Dr. John (one of the cardiologists with Reno Heart Physicians) came to see me this morning with the news.  And basically the problem is both mechanical and electrical.   I’ve got what’s known in cardiac circles as an First Degree Atrioventricular  Block , hereinafter referred to as “FDAVB.”

In normal individuals, the AV node slows the conduction of electrical impulse through the heart. This is manifest on a surface ECG as the PR interval. The normal PR interval is from 120 ms to 200 ms in length. This is measured from the initial deflection of the P wave to the beginning of the QRS complex.

In first-degree heart block, the diseased AV node conducts the electrical activity more slowly. This is seen as a PR interval greater than 200 ms in length on the surface ECG.

Now, if you’re going to have an AV block, first degree is the least troublesome. Where we don’t want me to go to is Second or Third, which leads to ventricular fibrillation, and I think what happened yesterday morning.  (When my heart rate went up yesterday morning I thought I was having SVT attack, so I tried to get it to stop by “bearing down” much as one does when going to the bathroom, which is a trick that can work sometimes. However, since I was not having a SVT episode, but this other thing, bearing down was the direct opposite of what I should have done and why my heart sped up even more and caused the tightening in my chest and down my arms that sent me to the emergency room.)

If you’re anything like me, visual aids are immensely helpful and Dr. John was kind enough to draw me a picture of what was happening with my heart rhythm. So I found an image of what my ecg looks like, and through the magic of Photoshop, came up with this:

The problem is that with FDAVB, the distance from P to R is longer than it should be, showing that the electrical impulse is moving slower. The P wave is what happens just before the R wave which is the major beat of the heart that pushes the blood out of the ventricles. At T, the heart rests and refills for next PQRST series. So, you need that rest time for the ventricles to refill. What is happening with me is that P is happening too close to T, sometimes stepping on T’s toes so that the ventricle can’t fill properly. Not good. And it explains why I can feel so crummy with even a slightly elevated heart rate, the light-headedness, feeling a bit breathless. Pretty much everything.

Here’s the kicker. This P wave thing? Not a result of my ablation, nor a result of my ASD surgery. Nope, it goes even further back in that my original atrial septal defect didn’t allow for proper formation of the needed wiring. So, in essence, this P wave issue is as old as me.

So the question the doctors are pondering is if my FDAVB just has been irritated into kicking into higher gear because of the ablations, which has left my heart swollen, or if there is more going on.

So…

They want to keep me in the hospital under observation for the next 48 hours, to make sure I don’t make the leap to second or third degree AV block. And Monday morning we’ll all have a confab on where we go from here.  Ah, the great unknown.

 

Hospital Rules

1. IV plugs are required. No matter what.
2. No matter how many times you’ve told them, and they’ve either written it in your chart or entered it into your electronic records, the next doctor in the door will make you go through your entire medical history again.
3. If you are admitted from Emergency, apply Rule #2.
4. If you are admitted to a cardiac floor, you must beg for a regular diet rather than the low-fat, no-salt, I-wouldn’t-feed-it-to-my-worst-enemy cardiac diet.
5. Decent pillows are a crap shoot.

I’m in for observation and tests after a frightening episode yesterday morning. I’ve gotten a new echocardiogram, bloodwork (which shows slightly elevated troponins, which may be related to the ablation), and a CT scan to make sure I don’t have any clots floating around.  I don’t know what else is planned, but hope to go home today.

 

Sarah

How did I miss this? Go read.

 

Healing Heart

I’m required to take it easy this week. No lifting anything over five pounds. I’m really not supposed to be driving, but when you’ve got an automatic with power everything and cruise control, does that really count as driving? More like sitting in a moving chair. So, after one day of Sweetie driving me to work, I’m back behind the wheel.

Judith

 This is Judith. She was my pre and post procedure nurse and she was my guardian. She checked me in, chatted me up and made the guy in the slot next to me turn down his Fox News spew.  She was just a neat, neat lady. After my procedure, when I had to be flat on my back, and not even raise my head, she, along with just about every other nurse or CNA in the room, ran to my bed when the Vicodin won over the contents of my stomach. One of them held the barf bag, the rest of them clamped their hands over my groin and neck where the catheters had been to keep my veins from blowing. Judith took complete responsibility for me and when it was time, she personally pushed my gurney up to my room. And…when we got there she parked me in the hall to go check out the room, which did not meet with her approval. It had a weird smell she said, and called everyone in (except me – I was still flat on my back) to confirm. So, I got moved to what they called “The Presidential Suite.” They “hammocked” me into my bed and I bid Judith adieu.

Karen, my procedure nurse

This is Karen. She was the voice behind my head in the cath lab. She explained everything to me. She administered all my sedation, held wet sponges to my lips when I needed a “drink,” calmed me when the adrenalin drug I was given set my heart racing, my body trembling and made me cry. Awful stuff. She wiped my tears. She was the voice of my cardiologist to Sweetie and Ali, who waited anxiously for word.  Rather than leaving them to wonder, she came out with regular updates to tell them when my doctor had found the source of my problems, when he was beginning the ablations, and then one more time when things took a bit longer than usual. Lots of scarring in my heart made my cardiologist earn his keep.  Karen was my rock in the cath lab. She is strong, gentle and kind.

Post procedure: Sweetie and Ali stepped in and took care of me. As with my jaw surgery, they tag teamed it as both of them have their own way of taking care of me. Sweetie doesn’t do well with the medical parts of these things, so he’s my runner. I need anything, he gets it. Ali will tend wounds, rub feet and backs. They both hold me in their love.

And today …  Tammy, my co-worker, brought me her promised tamales and biscotti. She threw in chocolate chip cookies to boot. She wrote on the biscotti bag: “3BID-OG Rx: 3x daily for recovery.” On the chocolate chip cookies bag: “good 4 your heart.”  Dinner tonight was tamales with salsa and guacamole. Num. Dessert? Home-made cranberry and almond pistachio biscotti.

I hope this procedure has done what it was supposed to. Eight spots were ablated in my heart, and right now my heart is doing double duty of healing and beating.  I’m getting stronger every day.  While I am impressed with the technology (and believe me, the geek in me thought it was very, very cool to be able to see inside my own heart), and deeply grateful for the expert hands of the cath team, healing also comes from foot rubs, cracker runs, a firm voice, a kind touch, and, of course, tamales and biscotti.

 

A short review

Back in September I wrote:

Even if rates don’t go up because of an individual claim, I’ve heard that rates may be charged by your community demographic.  Could that mean, for instance, that residents in Fallon, because of the leukemia cluster will pay higher rates than people in my town? Or will it mean, as you get older, you move into the “higher risk” category, and up your rates go, regardless of whether or not you make any claims? Of course, what I’ve “heard” and what is “real” may be two different things. Or not. I don’t know, because we don’t yet have a bill

Further, and this is the kicker, Obama’s pledge that no federal funds will go to fund abortions and the odious “conscience rules” will remain in place is a huge red flag. Will this be the proverbial camel’s nose under the tent that will allow the forced birthers to demand that no insurance company cover any abortions at all in the off chance that the woman’s premium is being payed by a tax-payer funded “tax credit?”  It’s the global gag rule come home to roost.

Well, now we have a bill.

Global gag rule come home to roost? Check. And if you think this is coming out in conference, you’re delusional. The Stupak amendment’s torch is about to be picked up by Senators Bill Nelson (D) and Bob Casey (D) in the Senate. And we all know where Harry stands on choice don’t we?

Higher rates via demographic? Check

Meanwhile the Wall Street Journal is reporting that the house bill *only* makes older people pay twice as might [BL: note: should read "much"] for health insurance as older [BL note:  "younger"] people. These are the figures:

under the House’s 2-to-1 cap, a 20-year-old would pay $3,169 in annual premiums and a 60-year-old would pay $6,339 for comparable plans, if they both had incomes above the subsidy-eligible level. Under a bill passed by the Senate Finance Committee, which had a 4-to-1 age-rating ratio, the 20-year-old would pay $2,258 and the 60-year-old would pay $8,357.

Hope and Change vs the Status Quo? Status Quo wins

All the Democrats were using some odd rhetoric on TV today. When asked directly if they would vote for a bill that had a Stupak amendment they kept saying that they were going to work to make sure that they “preserved the status quo.” The president said the same thing:

“I laid out a very simple principle, which is this is a health care bill, not an abortion bill,” Obama said. “And we’re not looking to change what is the principle that has been in place for a very long time, which is federal dollars are not used to subsidize abortions.

Saying the bill cannot change the status quo, the President said “there are strong feelings on both sides” about an amendment passed on Saturday and added to the legislation, “and what that tells me is that there needs to be some more work before we get to the point where we’re not changing the status quo.”

Joe Cannon envisions another scenario:

Under today’s system of socialized emergency medicine for the poor, she probably would go to the hospital within 24 hours. But under Pelosi’s plan, she knows that stepping into that hospital mean paying an unpayable fine, because she can’t afford to be on a health plan. And she’s terrified to fill out any forms giving out her personal information, because the last year she filled out a tax form was the year she “fell off the grid.”

So she stays home, spitting out her saliva every minute, unable to sleep, feeling ready to die. Maybe she ends up doing just that.

Well, screw Ellen. She didn’t pay taxes. She didn’t really contribute to the economy. It’s not as though society owed her a decent job or a social safety net. Let the bitch die. Too bad the taxpayers have to fork over the money to put her underground.

 

“take this with perspective…”

Email exchange between me and a supposedly “progressive” male friend. Sent before yesterday’s vote and under the subject line “One More Chance” said progressive sends me this Truthout article and pulls this quote: 

Sent: Friday, November 06, 2009 7:50 AM

´The congressman also said he doesn’t accept the decision to remove the amendment from the bill, and he said that there would be one more chance for the American people to push for a single-payer system.

“Once the health care bill passes the House, and the Senate passes its version, the two bills will go to a Conference Committee,” Kucinich said. “It is at this point that we will have one more chance. We need to insist that the Kucinich Amendment be included in the Conference Committee report, since that is what will ultimately become law.”

I’m thinking mebbe, but doubtful.  I write back:

Sent: Sat 11/7/2009 5:26 PM

Lessee – Pelosi wouldn’t even give Weiner the 20 minutes she’d previously promised him but is willing to side with the US Catholic Bishops to disallow any poor woman to get an abortion through any insurance plan that may receive federal funds either directly or indirectly through “subsidies (tax credits)” and delusional Kucinich thinks his amendment is going to get into the bill in conference? Has a bill EVER gotten BETTER in conference?

Stick a fork in it.  This bill is dead. Or should I say, hope for Americans is dead.

I am beyond disgusted.

I also foward him the email from HealthJustice linked in my post below and write:

Sent: Sat 11/7/2009 5:44 PM

Read email below….in light of what I just wrote you about Pelosi and the Catholic Bishops. I highlighted the paragraph.

No debate for Weiner’s amendment, yet she allows debate and vote on Stupak’s amendment. 

Now it gets interesting. He writes back today (my emphasis):

Sent: Sunday, November 08, 2009 9:26 AM

Pelosi is Catholic…duh? Please take this with perspective. I know HC is a big issue. I, personally, believe that it is being used to deflect debate from issues much more dear to our freedom(s).

1). Warrentless wiretapping

2). Leaving bushco appointed fed attorneys in place nationwide…they dictate what cases are prosecuted.

3). Torture

4). Posse Comitatus/habeus corpus

5). All things financial

6). Anti-trust a la FCC, SEC, FTC, FDA

7). Iraq/Afghanistan

8). Executive orders/signing statements from previous criminals in charge

 Health care has completely sucked all oxygen from discussion of the above…as ‘they’ continue dictatorial endeavors. 

Jus’ sayin’…

As you can well understand, I was a a bit put off (okay, I was pissed) by the condescending “take this with perspective” comment, so I replied (judiciously utilizing ALL CAPS for in hopes of encouraging some reading comprehension on his part):

Sent: Sun 11/8/2009 1:04 PM

Uh no. Obama has no intention of doing anything about those issues either. This is NOT either/or.

For the record: Pelosi voted against the amendment – so her true colors are all about getting enough votes to pass this POS legislation. After saying there would be no vote on Single Payer SO THAT other amendments SUCH AS THOSE THAT COULD RESTRICT WOMEN’S RIGHT TO CHOOSE [could not be introduced], she then scuttles single payer amendments and ALLOWS an amendment that RESTRICTS A WOMAN’S RIGHT TO CHOOSE. 

 I repeat. This is not an Either / Or. And frankly, I am fucking sick of women always being told that there is something (ALWAYS SOMETHING) that is more important than their rights, that has to be dealt with RIGHT NOW, so ladies, either get with “our” program or go sit down over there, be quiet, and we’ll get to you after we finish with whatever it is we deem more important than your rights. 

Fuck That.

 

And we get? Updated

I got an email today from HealthJustice with the subject line: Single-Payer Vote Called Off

It said:

On the eve of what could have been the first vote on single-payer legislation in our nation’s history, we have just learned that because of last minute developments, the vote and debate on Congressman Weiner’s single-payer amendment will not happen.

Speaker Pelosi received a statement from Rep. Kucinich and Rep. Conyers, the co-authors of HR 676, that they do not think that this is the right time for a vote on national single-payer legislation. They made this statement despite the extensive mobilization in support of this vote across the country. In addition, Speaker Pelosi felt that offering a single-payer amendment would open the floodgates to amendments proposed to limit abortion funds, restrict immigrant access to healthcare, and other regressive legislation.

 So, what happens? Pelosi allows an amendment introduced by a Democrat that limits abortion funds for women wishing to purchase insurance from the exchanges created by the health care bill. And 64 Democrats voted for it, along with all the Republicans. It passed. As a commenter put it at Firedoglake:

OMG I am just sick. Who are these Democrats? They have now determined that any woman who wanted to buy a policy in the exchange – even with their own money – will no longer be allowed to buy a policy that allows her to have a legal procedure. They have effectively made this the most discriminatory bill conceivable. Women are the losers and this bill deserves to go down in flames now.

Another comment:

Oh, first no negotiated rates, no single-payer for the states, and now that it’s got Stupak in it (and let’s not delude ourselves of any guarantee that center-right Obama would or could have it pulled in conference)… exactly what are we gaining from this bill again? Closing one more loophole for the insurance companies in exchange for allowing them to tax us? Scuttle it and start over!

I shouldn’t be surprised. And yet, I am. As a reminder, these tidbits from the 2008 Democratic Party platform:

We oppose the current Administration’s consistent attempts to undermine a woman’s ability to make her own life choices and obtain reproductive health care, including birth control. We will end health insurance discrimination against contraception and provide compassionate care to rape victims. We will never put ideology above women’s health.

[...]

The Democratic Party strongly and unequivocally supports Roe v. Wade and a woman’s right to choose a safe and legal abortion, regardless of ability to pay, and we oppose any and all efforts to weaken or undermine that right.

Why any Democratic woman who supports choice remains in the Democratic Party after this sell out by the leadership is mystery to me. Time for them to step back and stop being the workhorses for The Party until it lives up to its platform. No money. No time. Women, just STOP.

Updated to add this comment by WMCB at The Confluence. She says it just right.:

Women need to WAKE THE FUCK UP. It’s The DEMOCRATIC party that has more power now than ever before – they are COMPLETELY in charge. They can do whatever they want. And they are FUCKING YOU OVER without even blinking. And they are dead certain that you will walk into the booth and punch that “D” every damn time – no worries.

WAKE THE FUCK UP. Don’t pick up the dirty socks, then whine and bitch about how you always have to pick up the dirty socks. STOP doing it. Period. STOP voting for these assholes.

Update #2 – Violet:

Personally, I’m just grateful that we have Democrats in power. I’m so glad that American women voted in a Democratic president and overwhelming Democratic majorities in Congress last year. True, most women voted that way because they thought the Democrats were on the side of women’s issues, but fortunately, they were wrong. The Democrats clearly have a more historic, a more — how shall I say? — masculine vision for America.

First, they made sure that women’s medical needs would not be considered part of basic healthcare. Then, this morning, they added in an extra special amendment to make extra-double-plus sure that abortion wouldn’t be covered. Even by private plans! That’s right: any insurance plan that participates in any way in the new exchange, or receives any federal subsidies, or is paid for with any tax credits, will not be allowed to offer abortion coverage. Gosh, it’s almost like making abortion illegal.

 

Can’t win