We met with a trauma counselor* through the Red Cross on Thursday. He helped us to know we aren’t crazy and that everything we’re feeling right now is normal. The guilt, no hunger, crying, flashbacks. He encouraged us to talk about it with each other and with people we trust and to be gentle on ourselves. To follow our normal daily routines. To allow ourselves time to heal. But we won’t ever be the same, he said. Don’t expect that. We’d already figured that out. But it will fade with time, he said.
We are trying to put all the puzzle pieces together, and that means we comb the news for pictures and videos. What Sweetie finds, he shares with me. What I find, I share with him.
There are triggers. We’ve been told not to avoid them but to work through them and tell ourselves that we’re okay. I know that’s what I’m supposed to do, and I’ll have to. There is no avoiding planes landing, sirens, or flashing police and ambulance lights.
There hasn’t been a day go by that we haven’t cried. Not yet. We are slowly starting to experience hunger again, but we only eat to fill the hole. It all pretty much tastes like paste. But on Thursday night I sliced up a ripe tomato from our garden and lightly salted it. I could taste it, and it tasted good.
It will get better.
* If you, or anyone you know, was at the air races, witnessed the accident and its aftermath and is struggling emotionally, please contact your local American Red Cross for free trauma counseling. They can help you. If your company has an Employee Assistance Program, they can help as well. Whatever you do, don’t stuff it. Please.
One thing that helps in the sudden loss of someone via an accident is access to Bereavement groups, via local hospitals or non-profit groups. There you may find others that have gone through similar trauma, in a safe place and one with a therapist (most have them).
Some people go to the groups years later, often due to an event that brings up other memories that had not risen to the surface, or PTSD and the people in the group understand. Bereavement groups are healing because it is a mutual healing process, that happens as one person helps another heal as they share and listen. I am glad you and your sweetie are there for one another.
Keeping a journal helps.
There are also hotline you can access, where you can speak to counselors that will be able to listen, and that to helps. It is a long road, on the road to recovery and emotional survival. You have each other, which is a blessing unto its self, you have your family and friends and many others sending you good thoughts and love/light.
Thank you for sharing.
Be well…
Yes, we’ve done some trauma counseling as noted above. Today we’ll be going to a CISM group thing too. Tomorrow is the memorial at Idlewild Park, and we hope to connect with some of our friends there as well. We are emailing and talking on the phone and connecting through FB, etc.
Thanks for posting that on the Reno survivor’s support page, Carissa. I think a lot of people could garner strength from reading it. I hope you and your husband recover quickly… Thanks again…
Jim