Long before My Life on the D-List I was a Kathy Griffin fan. Since that show debuted, I’m a devotee. And with Anderson Cooper playing her straight man every New Year’s Eve, CNN is the place we go to watch the ball drop. She is hilarious and I adore her.
So, you will understand my glee when I discovered that, after months of pleas from her northern Nevada fan base, she was coming to the Silver Legacy in Reno on January 28th! Whee! And, even better, Sweetie and I had an “in” at the Silver Legacy: Arturo. You see, Sweetie and I take good care of Arturo at the Reno Championship Air Races and make sure the SL guests get through the Box Seat Security gauntlet with as little problem as possible. At the end of last September’s races, Arturo graciously offered show tickets to the Box Seat Security gang as his way of thanking us for our help.
So when I heard KG was coming, I finally decided to take advantage of his offer and popped him an email. Long story short: he promised us two comped tickets and two paid (of course we were bringing Daughter and Son-in-Law!).
Yesterday was The Day. Per Arturo’s instructions, I called him via the White Courtesy Phone once I arrived at the Silver Legacy and he met us at Will Call. He made sure we got very good seats – holey cow – second row, just off of center! But, even better, Arturo arranged for us to go the the Meet & Greet before the show. SQUEEEEEE!!!! And when I told my daughter at dinner, DOUBLE SQUEEEE!!
Okay, I must let you in on a bit of a secret. You see, I am a big daydreamer. I hold imaginary conversations with famous folk and I like to imagine what it would be like to be pals some of them. I don’t want to be just a member of their entourage and a syncophantic suck-up. I want to be a friend, not just some hanger-on, because I know that what we get to see of a celebrity’s public persona, more often than not, is not who they really are.
Kathy Griffin is one of those people who make appearances in my imaginary conversations because, while she’s crazy and outrageous and unafraid to be out there, I’m pretty damned sure there is a side of her that we don’t get to see. You catch little hints of it, if you’re paying attention. I saw just a teensy bit of it when watching her episode when she had a guest spot on Law and Order SVU (or as Maggie would call it: SUV). When she was distressed over having trouble hitting her marks, I just wanted to rush in, hug her, and tell her, “Little sister, it’s gonna be okay. You can do it. Don’t let it get to you.”
That’s the Kathy Griffin I want to be friends with. Or adopt as my little sister. Or something.
Back to the Meet & Greet. What was I going to say to her? I thought about it and Daughter and I discussed it over dinner. I joked that I hoped I didn’t show up with broccoli in my teeth.
Was I going to gush all over her and make a total fool of myself? Probably. Should I tell her I wanted to be her BFF? Doesn’t Paris have that all tied up? Besides, I bet sometimes she just needs someone who’ll step in front of her to beat back some asshole. I could do that. And that’s like a big sister kind of job, isn’t it?
Nervous that we’d miss the 7:15 Meet & Greet time, we headed downstairs at 7pm, with Daughter and I stopping by the merchandise booth to pick up matching t-shirts. Daughter suggested we put them on for the photo op. Done. Mirror check: Lipstick. Check. Hair. Check. Teeth. Oh jeebus! Broccoli in my teeth! Fixed. Aaaand we were ready. Sweetie and Son-in-Law were mildly amused at Daughter’s and my barely-contained excitement.
And we waited. 7:15 came and went, and then, shortly after 7:30 the smiling band of Kathy fans were ushered into the room. No autographs we were told. That woman will hold your purses and other items, if needed.
We all glanced at each other. The giddy was palpable. Finally, she appeared.
Okay, I knew she was little, but really, I had no idea how teeny she was. My first thought was, Somebody feed her! A few couples were ahead of us in the photo line, but soon enough it was our turn. Quick pose, two shots, and it was time to go. Not one to let this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity slip away, I began my gush. I may very well have made a fool of myself. No matter. And yes, I told her that I wanted to be her big sister. She doubted my chronological ability to be her big sister, and in a conspiratorial moment, our heads moved closer together as I asked her age, and then realizing that I had been terribly rude, leaned in closer and quietly told her I would be 55 next May. She was very kind. I promised her I’d blog on the evening, told her I loved her show, especially the public pap smear episode, and then, my time was through.
We were escorted to our fabulous seats (did I mention second row, near center) in the Grand Exposition Hall.
Tiffany was moving back and forth through the hall doing a job I know all too well: Making sure it all came together. In one last task, just before KG came on stage, Tiffany stepped out on the stage to pour water into a large glass of ice (complete with straw). The crowd roared. She didn’t acknowledge the cheer at all. She just quietly poured the water with no expression on her face, and my heart went out to her. She’s the Assistant, not the Star, but we all know who she is. Because of My Life on the D-List she doesn’t get to be the behind-the-scenes super-capable assistant any more. We think we have a right to her, because we see her on t.v. We don’t.
The show was marvelous. Kathy was hysterical, as expected. She opened with Charlie Sheen. Then on to Sarah Palin and her move from the Silver Legacy to the Peppermill after she’d gotten wind that she was sharing the place with KG. Ha! Local food. Hotel brochures. Lots of time spent on the “Real Housewives” which made me only slightly sad that I don’t watch that particular franchise of WTF teevee programming. Oprah and her new OWN network (“I own you, bitches!”), Steadman (“Send Nancy Grace to find Steadman.”) , Gayle, Wynona and Naomi. Steven Seagall. Gene Simmons’ pubic hair helmet head, and Maggie’s Last Wishes. And more.
All the while I snapped pictures. It was a funny and memorable night.
Kathy, the big sister offer still stands. I’m on Faceplace.
An aside to the Silver Legacy and all area casinos: Please reconsider your show ticket policy. You guys always give front and center tickets to your “preferred” guests (translation: high rollers) regardless of said guests’ knowledge of or appreciation for, the particular artist being showcased. I’ve seen this happen again and again at every show I’ve ever attended in this town, whether held in the casino or at other venues around town. The result of this practice means that the front-center section of any show is always full of the least excited, dullest, biggest stick-up-their-asses audience members ever. It is completely disrespectful to the performer, and a real poke in the eye to people who would be more than willing to PAY for those seats. If you want to give your high rollers near-to-the-front seating, at least have the decency to put them in the side sections so if they decide they really don’t care for that particular performer, they can quietly leave without leaving a gaping audience hole right under the performer’s nose. Kathy Griffin is not everyone’s cup of tea, but it sure would have been nice if her actual fan base had had a shot at those seats. Did you see the lines at her merchandise booth after the show? Get a fucking clue.